147. If Vulnerability Feels Like Danger, Your Culture’s Off - This Simple Fix Changes Everything

Vulnerability is a very popular leadership topic. In this episode, you'll discover how to flip it on its head. If your people come from the heart and feel that that makes them vulnerable, like they're taking some sort of risk, you've failed to create a supportive culture.

In this episode, you'll discover how to create a culture so supportive it can heal family of origin issues. It's simple, quick, and I think you'll really enjoy it, like a bunch of my coaching clients have. Check it out.

The Problem with Bravery in Communication

In this episode, you'll discover why, if your people feel it takes bravery, an act of courage, to stand up and speak the truth on your work teams, you've failed to create a culture of support.

I'll show you why this same phenomenon means it's not okay to tell the truth in your workplace, and I'll also show you step number one to taking back the communication and the culture of your workplace.

Step number one—it's all on you, and I'll show you how to get started immediately.

A Different Take on Vulnerability

Hello again. Dr. Dike Drummond here at the home of TheHappyMD.com with the latest edition of the Stop Physician Burnout Podcast.

Today, we've got a hot topic—one that is powerful, important, popular, and mostly misunderstood. My intention is to give you a new understanding of the V word.

Vulnerability is a very, very popular topic these days when it comes to communications in the workplace, especially because of the work of the fabulous Brené Brown.

And I'm a huge Brené Brown fan, but I have a different way of understanding vulnerability, probably at least in part because I'm a big old white guy and I'm not in a naturally vulnerable population here in the United States of America.

So hang with me here. Let me give you my interpretation of vulnerability and why I can say that if you feel vulnerable when you tell the truth at work, then you have failed to create a supportive workplace culture.

And I consider that to be a leadership failure that can be addressed by changing the way that you lead.

When Truth Feels Risky

Now let's just look real quick at the kinds of situations people talk about when they say they feel vulnerable at work.

Oftentimes, when it comes to communication, what's happened is somebody has stepped up and mustered up the moxie to tell the truth. They've actually communicated in a way that it's truthful, open, honest, and transparent.

And for some reason, they feel that telling the truth makes them vulnerable, puts them in a position of potential danger, where somebody could say or do something that would harm them.

What is that about?

In my mind, if speaking the truth—telling it like it is, talking about the elephant in the room, telling the emperor they have no clothes—is something that puts you at risk, what's happened is you've failed to create a supportive culture in the workplace.

And that is such a crucial failure—it destroys any trust in the workplace, so you won't be able to function very well as a team.

The Role of Truthful Communication in High-Functioning Teams

If you look back on your peak experiences of human cooperation in your life, your peak experience of working on a team in your life, one of the things you'll notice is on that team where you felt great—like your contributions were honored and together you did great work—one of the core components of that was you could tell the truth.

Truthful, open, honest, and transparent conversation was the norm in that group.

So that is what we want to do as leaders: establish a culture where telling the truth is not only expected, it’s rewarded.

The Damage of a Non-Truth-Telling Culture

Now this destructive non-truth-telling culture is very, very common. It spawned all sorts of common metaphors, like:

• The elephant in the room

• The emperor has no clothes

• The classic "kiss up and piss down"

In neither direction are you actually telling the truth or being honest.

How to Start Changing the Culture

But how would you start?

How would you start to create a supportive culture for the truth—one where we interact authentically?

It would have to start with you as a role model and as a mentor.

It has to start with you telling the truth and telling people that telling the truth is valuable.

One of the ways that we do this in the wellness leadership world is I advocate that all wellness champions and all Chief Wellness Officers must start their leadership by telling their story of burnout—truthfully, openly, honestly, transparently—the good and the bad and especially the ugly.

Modeling the Behavior You Want to See

So when there are difficult workplace communications, stride into the breach.

Call people on the shit when they're taking other people down or dissing other people in the workplace, and communicate in an open, truthful, honest, and transparent way.

And when other people communicate that way, reward them with praise and positive feedback.

Make it normal only to communicate openly, truthfully, trustingly, and transparently. Make it the norm on your teams.

A Supportive Workplace Can Heal Old Wounds

And here's one place that I have some deep, I believe, spiritual faith that I just want to put out there for you.

A lot of people come to the workplace damaged by relationships in their life—family of origin or other traumas—that bring them to work damaged and afraid to tell the truth.

Well, I believe that a truly functional workplace team with a good leader that supports honest and trustful communication is a place that can actually heal the wounds of family of origin and other traumas.

So this is such important work—to set an example of truthful, honest, transparent communication.

Set the example, reward it when it happens, and put the hammer down when people lie, cheat, tell something other than the truth, and think they're going to get away with it.

Pattern Interrupt: Your Opportunity as a Leader

It's up to us to lead the way.

So when is the next time you're going to be in front of a section of or all of your team and have an opportunity for a pattern interrupt?

"Hey everybody, hang on a second. I got a story I want to tell you, because I want to tell you some of the things I've had to deal with in my career. I think it's important that we share these stories openly, because I want to set a standard going forward, that on this team, we tell the truth—truthful, open, honest, and transparent conversations and communication are what I expect and what we will tolerate here as we work together to get the job done."

And then what's the story you're going to tell them?

Remember—the good, the bad, and especially the ugly.

Truth-Telling is Not Weakness

And I've had colleagues of mine who've gone into these meetings where they knew they were going to tell the truth to set a standard, and they were saying to themselves ahead of time:

"I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry."

But then they did.

And you know what? It worked out even better.

Talk about declaring yourself to be a human being. It’s not a sign of weakness. It is that sign of authenticity and truth—the truth of the struggles that we go through at work from time to time, especially in healthcare.

Final Call to Action

So when's the next time you'll be with your team, and when's the next time you're gonna come from the heart and be a real leader, establishing impeccable communication?

You can do this—and it will make a difference.